Safe Dating


He seemed like the perfect guy. Smart, funny, outgoing and incredibly good looking and he asked her out for Friday night. They would go and hang out at a popular club, where all her friends like to go. They would be with a group so she knew she would be safe date.

The night was magical. He was charming and looked so handsome. All of her girlfriends were jealous. It made her want to laugh. He was such a gentleman, opening the door for her, fetching drinks, looking at her as if she were the only one in the room.

She wasn’t a heavy drinker, so when she began to feel a bit woozy after her second drink, she asked him to take her home. She told her friends that she felt a bit under the weather and would talk to them the next day.

On the ride home, she was slipping in and out of consciousness. She couldn’t imagine what was happening. All she remembered was her date saying everything was going to be alright. But everything was not alright, not for her.

The next morning she awoke with a writhing headache and a sense of fear. She still felt very groggy and it took awhile before she could sit up. She was stripped down, lying in her bed. Days would go by, before she could figure out what had happened. She had been drugged and raped by the perfect man. The nice looking, oh so charming gentleman, had slipped something into her drink, driven her home and raped her.

When she saw him again on campus he acted as if nothing had happened. She glared at him and hissed that she would report him. But he just stared back with a smug look on his face. Trying to prove a crime had taken place was near to impossible.

One in every five college aged women has been forced to have intercourse against her will. Sometimes the women have been victims of date rape drugs, other times they are taken advantage by a boyfriend, whom they trust.

College students away from home for the first time find themselves with a lot of freedom. For many people this is a time of growth and emergence into adulthood. Meeting new people and socializing with peers can be a wonderful experience. Parties are a regular happening and unfortunately so is underage drinking. Many times, it is under the influence of alcohol or narcotics that things get a bit confusing.

It is important to remember that without consent, intercourse is rape and sexual contact is sexual assault. This remains true even if consensual sex has taken place in the past, even if an expensive night out has been paid for, and even if in the absence of explicit protest. Acquaintance rape can happen to women and men of any sexual orientation. It is estimated that 80 to 85% of rapists are known to the person they attack.

Take a proactive stance on safe dating and rape prevention. Education and self defense products, such as pepper spray and personal alarms can provide safety or deter a tragic outcome. Self defense products in disguise such as lipstick pepper spray or cell phone stun guns are particularity effective.