Signs of Domestic Violence

We get communication on a regular basis from women who allege that they are victims of domestic violence or abuse. Some call, others fax, but most send email looking for help protecting themselves from their attackers. Reports against husbands, boy friends, ex-lovers include physical and mental abuse. Most recently we received an email from a young woman seeking self defense products for use against her boy friend. She went on to explain that when he drinks he is often violent. Pushing, punching and verbal abuse are the norm after the boy friend has too much alcohol. Other examples involve ex-husbands who can't seem to move on. Instead they stalk and terrorize the woman they once loved. Most, but not all victims of domestic violence are women and the abuse occurs for one main reason: the need to totally control them. The abusive party may use guilt, fear, intimidation, or shame to break you physically and emotionally. Are you or someone you love involved in an abuse relationship? Do you:

• are you afraid of your partner most of the time
• during conversation do you avoid talking about certain topics because you are afraid to make them mad
• have a feeling that nothing you do is right for your significant other
• feel depressed, emotionally drained, and/or think you are going crazy

Does your partner:

yell, scream and/or humiliate you

constantly criticize you and put you down

treat you so bad that you go out of your way to avoid social gathering with freinds and family because of what he might say or do

fail to acknoledge your accomplishments or wins

force himself on you sexually

The above are some common signs that you are involved in an abusive relationship. If this hits too close to home you need to get yourself the help you need immediately. Of course if you need help right away call 911. If you need to speak with a confidential professional for help and advice contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). If you are afraid for your physical safety consider purchasing a self defense device. Learn how it works and what to expect should you need to use it. Once you've chosen the personal security device that works best for you, it is now time to practice over and over again. Pepper spray does no good at the bottom of your purse when needed. If you can get in the habit of carrying pepper spray with you everywhere and learning how to utilize it effectively, your "piece of mind" will grow dramatically. It really doesn't matter what your defense weapon is, the key is being able to properly use. No matter what the product is, practice is essential to improving your overall safety and self defense.